全国卷I:满分范文一
满分文(一)
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
Since Im quite interested in English, I would like to make an English pen friend to improve my writing. Can you introduce one to me? My ideal pen friend should be of my age, and a boy will be better. A boy who likes traveling and football will be a good candidate.
In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other. We can share our feelings of traveling and football. If possible, I hope that he likes pets. Hope you can find me an ideal pen friend.Thank you.
Best regards,
Li Hua
名师点评:
本文属于比较“平”的文章,即稳中求胜。文章没有华丽的词语,但是使用了一些短语和结构,能够获得老师的欣赏。首句是个原因状语从句。文章也运用了定语从句来修饰boy,比较好。If possible这个省略句则表明作者对这类状语从句的熟悉。
积累卡片
好词:1. candidate n.候选人2.share with 与…分享
好句:In my opinion, the guy of my age will share almost the same experiences as me and it is easier to talk to each other.在我看来,像我这样年龄的男生和我会有更多的共同语言。
好处:复杂句的组合很好。
满分文(二)
Dear Peter,
I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.
I have been learning English for two years and I hope to find an English pen friend so that I can get more improvement. Can you help me to find one?
Id like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of traveling and sports, to be my pen friend. In my opinion, people of the same age often have something to exchange. Thats why I want him to be of my age. If he likes doggy, that would be better because I can tell him something about my little doggy.Id be very thankful if you can help me. Hope to hear from you!
Best regards,
Li Hua
名师点评:
从整体上来说,本文写得还是符合要求的,内容完整,要点和结构也很齐全。语言的使用不在于华丽的辞藻而在于其一些复杂句子的组织。最值得我们学习的就是像好词和好句中列举的表达法。全文流畅而连贯,适合于模仿。
积累卡片
好词1.improvement n 改进2.do sb. a favor 帮助某人3. doggy n.小狗
好句1. Id like to have a boy, who is of my age and is fond of traveling and sports, to be my pen friend.我想寻找一个和我年纪相仿,喜欢旅游、体育的男孩来做我的笔友。
好处:of my age 年纪相仿;be fond of 喜欢。
2.Thats why I want him to be of my age,这就是为什么我希望笔友跟我年纪相仿的原因。
好处:用why引导的从句做表语从句。
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