北京卷:满分范文一
【满分范文】
第一节情景作文
满分文(一)
Dear Harry,
How are things going?
Last Monday, my class held the monitor election, a fierce competition between two students really. First, the two candidates, Liu Dong and Wang Hong, gave their election speeches respectively. Then other students wrote a name of the candidate on paper and put it into a box. The teacher counted the number of pieces of paper voting for the two candidates fairly. Finally, Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. So Wang Hong became our monitor. It was an interesting election, isnt it? Hope to hear from you.
Best wishes,
Li Hua
名师点评:
本文叙述内容完整而翔实。最突出的优点就是结构分明。作者通过使用了first,then,finally等表示顺序的词语,使文章层次感显得很强。其次,词语句式方面,作者也以简单句为主,增加了一份简练,流畅而自然。
积累卡片
好词1.respectively ad.各自地2.vote v. 选举3.election n. 选举 4. fierce a.激烈的
好句1. Last Monday, my class held the monitor election, a fierce competition between two students really.上周一,我们班举行了一次班长选举,两个候选人竞争激烈。
好处:句式的使用很有特点。
2. Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15.
王红得到了28票,而刘东得到了15票。
好处:while的使用很地道,表示并列情形。
满分文(二)
Dear Harry,
How are things going?
Last Monday, our class held the monitor election. The two candidates gave their speeches first and after that other students put the paper with the name of the ideal monitor into a box. The teacher made a calculation of the number of names voted by other students. At last the result was: Wang Hong got 28 votes while Liu Dong got 15. In that sense, Wang Hong won the election.
Id like to know how the monitor election is conducted in your class.Hope to hear from you.
Best wishes,
Li Hua
名师点评:
本文叙事平稳,内容完整。词语使用平实,语法运用恰到好处,以准确的表达拿到比较高的分数。本文按图叙事,用first, after that, at last连接,结构分明。长短句综合运用,句式富于变化。
积累卡片
好词1. calculation n.计算2.candidate n.候选人
好句1. The teacher made a calculation of the number of names voted by other students.
老师将其他同学选出的名字加以汇总。
好处:voted,动词的过去分词作状语。
2. Id like to know how the monitor election is conducted in your class.
我想知道你们班班长竞选是如何进行的。
好处:how引导的从句做宾语。
第二节开放作文
There is a bird in the nest in the tree. She is the mother of her four children. Seeing her children flying happily in the sky, she feels very delighted. The four birds will be able to live independently and another circle of life will begin. How wonderful nature is!
名师点评:
本文发挥想象,设想四只小鸟即将飞离母亲的庇护去自己生存,并由此引出生命轮回。文章想象合理,展开得很恰当。语言生动而形象,作为一篇小作文,不但恰当而且值得学习。
积累卡片
好词:1.independently ad.独立地2. another circle of life生命的新轮回
好句:Seeing her children flying happily in the sky, she feels very delighted.
看到孩子们在空中自由地翱翔,她感到很愉悦。
好处:现在分词作状语表示伴随状态。
上一篇文章: 08高考英语满分作文(2)
下一篇文章: 08高考英语满分作文(4)
|