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上海卷：满分范文
【满分范文】
Xiao Hong, our monitor and one of my good friends, got a cold last Monday and has been in hospital for three days. We suggested seeing her to show our concern. So yesterday we went to the hospital. Since I have known for long that Xiao Hong is fond of doggy, I bought a very cute doggy toy before going there.
On seeing the toy, Xiao Hong couldnt help screaming. She hugged the toy which was so lovely and cute again and again. She was moved because we all came to see her. We expressed our hope that she could recover as soon as possible. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship. I believe she will be well soon and come back to us again!
名师点评：
本文的写作让我们再一次领略到上海作文的水平。我觉得其优势主要体现在，其一，用词准确生动，即通过有难度的词汇的使用，将作者的意思准确地加以表达；其二，句式的变换和语法的应用，即表达的问题。上述二者兼而有之，分数怎能不高？
积累卡片
好词：1. concern n.关心2. screaming a.尖叫的3.hug v.拥抱4.cherish v.珍爱
好句：1. We suggested seeing her to show our concern.
我们建议去看看她以表示我们对她的关心。
好处：suggest doing，建议做什么。
2. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship.
我告诉她这个小狗代表了我希望她康复的愿望和对于我们友谊的珍爱。
好处：意思表达十分准确。
天津卷：满分范文一
【满分范文】
满分文(一)
How to Protect Our Eyesight
As we can see in the picture, nowadays most students wear glasses because they are shortsighted due to high study pressure. With the help of glasses, they can see the blackboard clearly.
This phenomenon must be paid attention to. We should reduce the time of reading and when we read, do read in the bright place so as to protect our eyes. Besides, the eye exercises are another way to keep eyes healthy. After school, wed better get more sleep so that the eyes can get more rest.
As the saying goes, eyes are the window of our hearts. If you can follow the methods mentioned above, you can surely have a good eyesight.
名校点评：
本文采用三段论的方式，分析图画，提出建议，提出希望，叙述比较详细。文中用了两个伴随状语，使得文章非常连贯。这个独立结构也很好。此外，作者还是用了比较复杂的句子，We should reduce the...采用复合结构，讲出了多个保护视力的要点。
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好词1. phenomenon n.现象2. so as to 以便
好句1. With the help of glasses, they can see the blackboard clearly.
在眼镜的辅助之下，他们才能将黑板看得更清楚。
好处：with引导状语表示伴随。
2. As the saying goes, eyes are the window of our hearts.
众所周知的是，眼睛是心灵的窗户。
好处：谚语的使用增光添彩。
满分文(二)
How to Protect Our Eyesight
Look at the picture and you will find the worrying phenomenon: most students now wear glasses. Because of unhealthy ways of using eyes and high study pressure, students get shortsighted easily.
However, we can do something to protect our eyes from getting shortsighted. When reading, make sure you are in the bright place and let your eyes rest every hour. If your eyes are aching,doing some eye exercises can relieve your eye tiredness. It will be good to your eyes to take enough sleep. I believe you can protect your eyes if you follow the tips.
Hope every one of you have a clear world!
名师点评：
本文审题准确，要点完整而齐全。从结构来说，首先提出问题，其次讨论如何及为什么需要解决问题。文章长短句结合使用，句式变换而流畅。文章用词地道而成熟，可以称得上是一篇不错的考场佳作。
积累卡片
好词1. ache v. 疼痛2. pressure n. 压力3. relieve v.缓解
好句1. However, we can do something to protect our eyes from getting shortsighted.
然而我们可以采取一些措施来保护我们的眼睛免于近视。
好处：do something to，采取措施。
2. If your eyes are aching, doing some eye exercise can relieve your eye tiredness.
如果你的眼睛感到疼痛，做眼操可以缓解你的视力疲劳。
好处：动名词作主语引导从句。
重庆卷：满分范文一
【满分范文】
满分文(一)
Dear Amy,
Im Li Hua from Xinhua Middle School of China. Im sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brought you great pain. But you should realize that you are young and have a promising great future. So, stand up and fight against the disease! Im sure you will win. It is reported that the America anticancer association will donate three cents upon every comfort letter you receive. So I will tell your situation to all my friends and ask them to write to you. In that way, you will get enough money for you to be cured. Hope you can be well soon.
Yours,
Li Hua
名师点评：
本文依照要求，涵盖了所有要点。文章使用了高中常见的句式，如Im sorry to hear that..., It is reported that...等，都比较好。作者对定语从句的使用恰到好处地修饰了文章，行文自然而通顺，值得学习。
积累卡片
好词1.realize v.意识到2.promise v.允诺3.donate v.捐赠
好句1. Im sorry to hear that you got the lung cancer which brings you great pain.
我很遗憾地得知你身患肺癌，给你带来了巨大的痛苦。
好处：which引导限制性定语从句。
2. So, stand up and fight against the disease!
因此，坚强地与疾病做斗争吧！
好处：掷地有声，语言准确。
满分文(二)
Dear Amy,
My name is Li Hua, a student from Xinhua Middle School in China. I have got to know that you got lung cancer and are in great pain. Sorry to hear that. But since you are young, the disease wont be very serious and you can beat it. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the America anticancer association will donate. For every letter, they give three cents. So I will try as hard as possible to persuade my friends to write to you so as to help you get enough money to cure the disease. Im sure you will be OK soon.
Yours,
Li Hua
名师点评：
文章整体来说一气呵成，衔接自然。通过诸如原因状语从句的使用，使得文章内容饱满，过渡自然，较好地使用了诸如but，so之类的连词。文章使用了“the +比较级，the +比较级”的句式，十分出彩。
积累卡片
好词1. cure v.治愈2. association n.协会3.donate v.捐赠
好句1. But since you are young, the disease wont be very serious and you can beat it.
但是因为你还比较年轻，疾病不会很严重，你能够战胜它。
好处：since，引导原因状语从句。
2. It is said that the more letters you receive, the more money the America anticancer association will donate.
据说你收到的信越多，美国抗癌组织捐给你的钱就越多。
好处：the +比较级，表示强调。
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